Seeing Green
by Tora-uma
Summary: A Farfarello discussion of Saint Patrick's Day


Disclaimer: I do not own Weiß Kreuz or any of the characters in it. I merely lust after them.  
  
Opening notes:  
  
This fic has absolutely no redeeming value. It's essentially an alternate universe one where the Schwarz and Weiß groups, while still assassins, are friendly to one another. I don't mean to offend anyone who likes Saint Patrick's Day, this is for entertainment purposes only and is not meant to be controversial. If it doesn't entertain you, that's fine with me but don't bitch about it. Translations follow at the end.  
  
Weiß Kreuz : Seeing Green  
  
By Tora-uma  
  
Ken walked into the Koneko No Sumu Ie, yawning, toothbrush hanging out of the corner of his mouth, wearing his pajamas and slippers. He halted, mid-step, looking around the shop in confusion.  
  
"Ohayou, Ken-kun!" Omi greeted from the table.  
  
"Omi, why is everything . . . green?" Ken asked, taking the toothbrush out of his mouth.  
  
"Oh! Well, Crawford's from America and he was getting homesick so, since today is Saint Patrick's Day over there, we decorated!"  
  
Ken looked to see Schwarz and Weiß sitting around the wooden shop table. Omi was chipper as always, Yohji was drinking green-dyed beer . . . "That doesn't look healthy, Yohji . . . " Ken told him.  
  
"What, drinking beer in the morning?" Yohji peered at Ken over his sunglasses.  
  
"Iya, the fact that it's green," Ken told him, continuing his table survey. Aya looked irritated at the monochrome color of the shop, Crawford looked like he'd pulled the stick out of his ass a little, Schuldig nearly blended in with the shop due to his green coat, Nagi was poking at the green eggs that had been served for breakfast and Farfarello was in the corner, glaring at everything.  
  
"And guess what, Ken-kun?!"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Since you're not wearing green, we get to pinch you!" Omi declared as he leapt at Ken, pinching him hard on the arm.  
  
"ITAI! Matte, look, green!" Ken declared, pointing at his toothbrush.  
  
"Oh, no fun . . . " Omi looked dejected.  
  
"Aya's not wearing green," Ken said, trying to cheer him up. Aya quickly lifted his hand, showing the green bouquet ribbon he'd tied around his finger. Ken also noticed the large number of pinch markings on the Weiß leader's arm.  
  
"Okay . . . " Ken surveyed everyone again, looking for a lack of green on someone. Everyone had at least a small amount of green on except . . . "Look, Farfarello's not wearing green."  
  
Everyone stared at the Irishman in the corner.  
  
"Do you want to get close enough to pinch him?" Schuldig asked.  
  
Ken looked at Farfarello, noting he looked more murderous than usual. "Iya."  
  
"Didn't think so," Schuldig grinned.  
  
"Hey, wait, Farfarello's Irish, right?" Ken asked, sitting at the table with a death-grip on his green toothbrush. Everyone nodded.  
  
"And Saint Patrick's Day is an Irish holiday, right?" Nods again. "So why does he seem to hate it?" Everyone shrugged.  
  
"Saint Patrick's Day is not Irish, it's a cheap American commercialization," Farfarello growled.  
  
"But Irish people celebrate it, right?" Ken asked.  
  
"Not real Irish people," Farfarello told him.  
  
"Then what's with all the Irish stuff? Like the pins . . . " Ken pointed to Yohji's "Kiss me, I'm Irish" badge.  
  
"Real Irish people don't celebrate Saint Patrick's Day!" Farfarello said forcefully.  
  
"But then what's the deal? Why does everyone say it's an Irish holiday?"  
  
"Because people are stupid! It's not an Irish holiday and REAL IRISH PEOPLE DON'T CELEBRATE SAINT PATRICK'S DAY!" Farfarello screamed and started throwing green things around the shop. Everyone else sat back and ducked at appropriate times. Eventually Farfarello threw one final green vase and ran out of the shop. Everyone stared after him.  
  
"Should we . . . stop him?" Ken asked.  
  
"Nah, he'll calm down eventually and find his way back home. He just needs to kill something," Schuldig told him.  
  
"Oh," Ken said. He put his toothbrush on the table to ruffle his hair, trying to get it out of his face.  
  
"Ken-kun . . . "  
  
Ken looked up to see everyone but Aya and Nagi looking at him evilly. Nagi was still fascinated with the green eggs and Aya was still glowering and being angsty, rubbing his sore arm.  
  
"What is it?" Ken asked, confused.  
  
"No toothbrush means . . . NO GREEN!" Omi cried, leaping at Ken again. Omi, Yohji, Crawford and Schuldig chased a screaming Ken into the back of the shop.  
  
"I'm going back to bed!" Ken yelled as he dashed up the stairs. The other four stopped at the back door, watching the soccer player flee.  
  
"Crawford?" Omi turned to the American.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I like this holiday!" Omi giggled.  
  
"That's because you're not Irish!" Everyone heard Farfarello yell from down the street.  
  
~*~  
  
Fin  
  
Translation notes:  
  
Ohayou - Good morning  
  
Iya - No  
  
Itai! - Ouch!  
  
Matte - Wait 


End file.
